I never wondered if I should see a fortune teller. The question was more: which fortune teller should I see now? Tarot card readers. Palm readers. Tea leaf readers. Astrologers, numerologists, clairvoyants … I’d seen them all. A lot. And every time, my question was the same, “Am I going to be a writer one day?”
From the age of 9 I knew that I wanted to be a writer, and as a young adult I was desperate for confirmation that I was on the right path. Was I talented? Would I be successful? Could I actually do it? But none of the fortune tellers I saw ever said yes. So I kept searching.
I was obsessed
I wanted somebody to tell me that I was “born to be a writer”. That it was my destiny. I didn’t realise that all I was actually doing was totally disempowering myself. I forgot that we get to choose what we want to do with our lives. That we get to make our own decisions. That if we fall, we get to pick ourselves up again.
But nobody ever told me what I so desperately wanted to hear
The fortune tellers eventually faded away, but the dream still burned in my heart. So I followed that burning heart and carved my own path. And despite the fact that no psychic ever said I would be a writer one day, I still became one. I write. I write every single day. Writing is not just my passion. It’s my home, my calling, and my career.
Nobody ever told me that one day I would ghostwrite books that would be published, nobody ever told me how I would meet the most inspiring people and fall in love with helping them tell their stories and share their knowledge. Nobody ever even hinted at the possibility that one day I would write stories or documentaries or books or TV shows or screenplays … but it happened. And so did this blog; this entire space dedicated to helping others find their own healing.
I took my power back
It happened because I wanted it to. Because I knew what I wanted to do. Because I worked my ass off. Because I never gave up. And I’ve promised myself that I will never give anyone that kind of power again. The power to decide my destiny. To decide what would be right for me and what wouldn’t. What I could be and what I couldn’t.
The unknown future can be a little unsettling. Often scary. Sometimes terrifying. What made it a little easier for me was realising that it would be worse to not try at all than it would be to try and fail. And suddenly I was willing to fail spectacularly. I was going to do this. And I was going to do it my way. Despite everything.
Does that mean I don’t ever seek spiritual guidance?
I still seek out spiritual guidance. But in a very different way. There are those I turn to often, especially energy healers, psychic channels, and astrologers. I don’t seek them out for confirmation of what I already know in my heart to be true. I seek them out to help me understand myself better. To help untangle my thoughts, to see a situation from a different perspective, or to receive a message about my own healing.
But most often I go within. And I get my answers there. We all have our own access to divinity. And I forgot all about it. When I started becoming enmeshed in the world of adulting, the world of spirit faded from my consciousness. Drowned out by the louder demands of work. Responsibilities, to-do lists, material distractions.
But now I’ve come to a place where I’ve merged the two worlds. Or perhaps learnt how to better travel between the two. And if I was ever again tempted to see a fortune teller for a prediction of my future life, I would say this to myself first …
“Lighten up and trust yourself. Do what you love. Don’t be afraid to take risks or make mistakes. Learn. Grow. Be grateful for everything you have. And don’t ever give up.
You’ve got this.”
Further reading …
You don’t have to rush off to the fortune tellers whenever you’re facing uncertainty.
When there’s a question in the air, a fork in the road, a sudden change that cracks open the darkest chasm; that’s when we know we’ve been swallowed into the belly of the Unknown.
And there, where it’s somehow absolute nothingness and every possibility all at the same time, our minds fall into fear and panic, lashing us with endless loops of questions and no answers.
And as our thoughts echo off the unseen walls, we wonder how we’re ever going to deal with this unknown thing. But I want you to know this: no matter what’s suddenly thrown you into “The Unknown”, you will rise. It’s in your very nature to.
Read more in “Dealing With the Unknown”
