The pace of our lives today is insane. Nobody needs to tell us how hectic we are. And nobody needs to tell us that we need to find “me time”; we’d honestly grab it if we could. Because really, the idea of taking any kind of timeout often feels totally unrealistic. And sometimes just the thought of scheduling a little time away from “everything that life is” can actually make us even more anxious. But within the chaos of my life, when it comes to that desperately needed quiet time, I’ve learnt that it’s not the length of time that matters, but the quality of it.
The busyness of life
We all know how it goes. Make the deadline. Make the meeting. Make supper. Let the cat out. Take the dogs to the vet. Take the trash out. Take the call. Run to the shops. Run to the bank. The post office. Plan for the future. Plan for today. Plan for just in case. Think smart. Think fast. Think out the box. Let the cat back in. Beat the traffic. Beat the clock. Beat the odds. Be nice. Be good. Let the cat out again. Be everything to everybody whenever they need it, and make it look easy, because you get extra points for that, oh and there goes your phone again…
… and then there’s the quiet space between.
Um. Isn’t there?
But “nothingness” isn’t unproductive either
Won’t the world somehow fall apart without us? Can we really afford that time out? What about all those hundreds of things that are going to fall through the cracks? Aren’t there like a million things that are going to pile up higher than Mount Doom because we’re planning on taking half an hour out of our day to spend it in unproductive nothingness?
The thing is, that “nothingness” isn’t all that unproductive. Apart from giving us the chance to take a healthy step back, a little solitary idleness can actually sharpen the mind. It can enrich productivity, creativity, and motivation. It can improve attention. Help us perform better. It makes a little room for inspiration to strike. Every time the “perfect answer” or idea or epiphany has come to me, it’s always in the quiet spaces I create in between the madness of life.
In fact, that “me time” is what holds your day together
Whenever I carve out a little space in the day for myself, that me time is the one thing that holds my whole day together. Why? Because it’s that moment when you’ve finally done something for you. Something kind for the self. Something life affirming in the way that only soul food can be.
Because we’re always busy. And we keep finding a whole new depth of busyness. There’ll be a phase when life is throwing everything at you and you’re thinking, “seriously, this is the most hectic I’ve ever been!” and you have no idea how you’re going to do it all, be it all, survive it all. And then there comes another wave of busyness that just makes everything else that came before pale in comparison.
So I’ve learnt that there’s never a better time to put even just one tiny healthy step into my day than now. Because there is nothing here but “right now”, this moment. Tomorrow is just an endless, endless chase.
And I think most importantly, when it comes to that desperately needed quiet time, I’ve learnt that it’s not the length of time that matters, but the quality of it. It doesn’t have to be an hour. Or even half an hour. Especially if it doesn’t do anything for you. Five minutes can make all the difference to my day if it’s the right kind of five minutes.
Finding the kind of “me time” that works for you
It’s taken me years, but I’ve finally found practices that work for me. That make me calmer, stronger, sharper, more grounded, more balanced. Give yourself time to find your perfect thing. If something like meditation doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you … it just means you haven’t found your thing yet.
Because it really doesn’t have to be anything grand or fancy or about striking the Lotus Pose. You could stare at the moon. Let your mind drift along with the clouds in the sky. Smell an orange as if it’s the first time you’ve ever experienced such a glorious scent. Lose yourself in a song you love. Go for a walk. Swim. Run. Read.
Whatever makes you feel whole. Give yourself time to find it, and then make it sacred. Show up for it, consciously. Honour it as a space between you and you. You and you and absolutely nothing else.
Even if three minutes is all you have right now
When I’m frantically, out-of-my-mind hectic, I use my three minute, gotta-be-done, tooth-brushing time in the morning to become aware of all the space around me, to become conscious of all the space flowing around the objects in the room, all the space flowing within me. I allow myself to feel it completely. And somehow just that makes me infinitely calmer.
It might sound a little silly, but even just those three simple, quiet minutes can rewire my brain and change my whole day.
The more hectic we are, the more important it is to create a few moments of me time. So give yourself permission to be still. Even if, just for starters … you linger a little longer in a candle-lit bath.
Because OMG how we really need that quiet space between.
