“I just want to be happy,” she sighs, paging through yet another magazine filled with adverts urging her to swipe her credit card over and over for products that will make her thinner, prettier, smarter. She knows that none of these things will magically transform her into a happier person, but she wonders what will.
If we’re totally honest with ourselves, I think we’ll find that most of us have unrealistic ideals about happiness. A perpetual state of bliss devoid of any sadness, pain, anguish, and fear might sound lovely, but I haven’t met a single living being untainted by hardship or pain.
That doesn’t mean we can’t live a happier life.
I think we could let go of our rigid ideas about happiness
Happiness shouldn’t be an equation. It shouldn’t be this plus that, plus that, and that and that, equals happy. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It could be just one thing. And that thing could change. And even if that thing is something external, something outside of ourselves, we can embrace and find joy in it while we have it.
We could make things a little simpler
We don’t have to pin our happiness onto some elaborate future vision. It could be (actually it should be) something now. The flutter of a bird’s wings. A sublime sunset. A smile from a total stranger. Something small. Something right now.
We could do more of what we love
And that means doing less of what we don’t. We could truly listen to ourselves, we could know exactly what that great passion is, and we could do it, no matter how much it scares us. It is the one path, in my experience, that is filled with the most delights and unexpected wonders.
We could lose ourselves in those moments that lift our hearts
We could stop thinking about the next thing we’re going to say, the next thing we’re going to do, or be, or have. We could just breathe … we could just drop our anchors into this moment.
We could be ourselves
Firstly, I’ve learnt that we really don’t have to take ourselves all that seriously. And despite what we’re told, we don’t have to conform either. We don’t have to fit in. And neither do we need to stand out. We could just be what comes naturally, whatever that is. We could be who we are.
We could linger
When our gaze falls onto something beautiful, we could linger instead of rushing by with no more than a fleeting of thought about that sudden snatch of loveliness. Once in a while, we could stop, and we could smell the roses. Really, really smell the roses.
We could give freely
There’s something liberating about giving to others without worrying about what we’ll be getting back, or when or how we’ll be getting it back. We could do it without expecting even a thanks or a smile. We could do it just because.
We could enjoy the journey
Yes, yes, we hear this a lot, but it’s always worth reminding ourselves that this whole life experience is a journey. And yes, we might be happy once we’ve found that place where we have all the things we want, where we are all the things we think we need to be. But we could be happy while we’re getting there too.
We could accept that happiness doesn’t have to be perfect
This is the high note of it all: what if happiness doesn’t have to be perfect? We could release ourselves from our own definitions of what it is to live a happier life. We could explore with an open curiosity instead. We could just live in this moment. We could find some kind of beauty in it. And we could try and take it with us into the next.
Ultimately, I think we could find a happiness that is more about sinking into the little bubbles of bliss that exist within ourselves despite the darkness and the madness that swirls around us.
Because I think we could all live a happier life. I really think we could.
